If it hurts too much, step away, or do something to change it.
I’ve been trying to think of what I learned in 2010 (or re-learned, as so many of these things are really about – we usually know the wisest thing to do but need to keep learning what it is or that it’s okay to do it or that we’re brave/strong/whatever enough to do it). A few not-so-great things happened. A few fabulously-great things happened.
I like unifying themes, and it’s taken me ’til now to see what the one for 2010 was. Question what you’re doing, and why, and whether it needs to be that way. Question the people in your life, and what role you have in each other’s lives, and why. We don’t always have the power to cut people out of our lives entirely (or, conversely, to keep them in our lives if they’d rather not be), but we usually have a choice about some element of our interaction with them.
It feels a little vague and amorphous to have this as a New Year’s Resolution, to remember this, but that’s what most resolutions come down to, I guess – identifying what we have control over, and what we want to do with that power. Or as the Serenity Prayer has it…
Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
(Why, yes, I am a Serenity Prayer junkie. I do make a point of omitting any deities though. More like imploring the universe. I used to believe in the Exam Gods but only in the sense that you could anger them with comments like “Yeah, that paper was dead easy” or “I think I did really well on that exam”, they were never benevolent.)